Philadelphia Marathon...Done!

Two days ago I ran the Philadelphia Marathon. I am DONE and couldn't be happier about it. I had a goal of completing within 5 hours and I finished in 5:13, so I was a bit slower than I had hoped. But I can honestly say I gave this race everything I had and I still ran faster than I did the Boston Marathon four years ago so I really can't complain. I ran not one but two marathons!

My friend and I at the finish line on Sunday

This was the first time I went away without Christopher and I was really nervous about it. I made sure he stayed at our home with people that he loved. At night, his babysitter "Pammy" stayed with him. During the day two of my friends entertained him and he knows them all quite well so I knew he was in good hands. But I still worried about him because I know he has real separation anxiety due to his trauma history. Was he going to be able to handle two days away? Was I going to be able to handle two days away???

I am very relieved to say that all went well. I called home several times and Christopher seemed happy and well cared for the entire time.

That didn't mean I didn't worry about him and miss him The Entire Time though.

I thought about Christopher just about every waking moment and I missed him SO much! And of course I felt terribly guilty about the fact that I was doing something for myself for two days instead of dedicating myself 120% to caring for the physical and emotional well being of my child...all by myself as a single mother of course.

For the last three years, I have focused completely on Christopher's needs over my own and I've been happy to do it. I mean come on...this kid needed someone to seriously love on him and the attention he's received has made a dramatic difference for the better. He's really a different kid, in a very good way/ But after three years, I'm spent and I realized that I need a little break occasionally.

So that's why I trained for this marathon. I missed having something that was just about ME. I've made sure that Christopher had great care while I was of running and he really enjoys the time he has with his babysitters, so that has helped. This is probably because when I'm home, I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and running errands, while the babysitters just play with him. It's like a great big play date several days a week for him. Who wouldn't love that?

That said, I've gotten this break all out of my system, for a while at least, so I'm back to focusing on the kiddo again. I want to spend more time playing with him and less time being distracted and/or exhausted. I want to focus on doing homework, to ensure he's meeting his potential academically. I also want to just sit on the sofa with him, doing nothing and enjoying our time together. Christopher's at a great age and I want to enjoy this time for as long as I can. Someday he's going to be a teenager that has no interest in being with mom so I am going to enjoy this time while I can. That is, until I need another break, of course