Why Gluten Free Works for Us

There's an article making the rounds of Facebook entitled "Science Proves Gluten Sensitivity Isn’t Real, People Are Just Whiners" that you can find Here if you're so inclined to read it.

As the mom of a kiddo who's on a gluten-free diet, articles like this tend to piss me off. Not because there is disagreement about the benefits of a gluten-free diet because I actually think healthy debate is a positive thing and I'm all for better education about what people choose to eat. And I get that some people are just jumping on the gluten-free bandwagon as yet another fad. If Jimmy Kimmel makes fun of you because you don't even know what gluten is and you're on a gluten-free diet, well, you might want to read up on your dietary options.

What bothers me is the headline has to mock people to make its point. Quite honestly, if the only way you can get your point across is by making fun of people, then you are immature and your argument has no credibility in my opinion. I don't argue with children.

I don't really care what some hipster, trying-to-be-too-cool, I-act-like-I-know-everything-but-I-still-live-at-home-with-my-parents "author" has to say about anything. They haven't lived any sort of real life yet and I don't see it as my responsibility to educate them.Whatever. Just go back to posting your ironic photos on Instagram of you and girlfriend at SXSW, stay out of my family's health choices and we'll all be fine.

For the grown ups out there though, let me tell you a little bit about what a gluten-free diet has meant to us. My son, because of his early childhood experience with trauma in foster care, has severe ADHD. He was put into foster care at the age of 2, bounced around NINE homes and finally landed with me at the age of 3. This was extremely traumatizing for my little guy and although he has a stable, loving home now, the damage has been done. His brain just didn't develop the way a "normal" child's would and he is extremely hyper, lacks impulse control and has trouble learning. We get care through the Developmental Medicine Center at Boston Children's Hospital and I also keep him on a strict routine, strict diet and make sure he gets enough sleep. It's a small sacrifice on my part to see a huge difference in his behaviors and that makes it all worthwhile.

My son's diet is both gluten free and artificial dye free and both help his behaviors tremendously. For the record, I don't think he has a reaction to gluten per se but more of a reaction to the wheat, which breaks down into a simple carb, spikes his blood sugar and makes him go crazy out of control.

So the issue really is wheat....not gluten. But no one really says let's have a wheat free diet. It's a gluten-free diet. It really is just a name though.

Of course, people might say that we've been eating wheat for thousands of years without issue so why are so many different people all the sudden saying that they're intolerant of gluten? The fact is, we've been eating wheat for thousands of years yes but we have only been eating "modern" wheat for a few decades. It's a fact that the modern wheat we eat today is not the same wheat we ate a generation ago. The Dwarf Wheat we have today is more compact and it is also processed differently so it's much less nutritious and jam-packed full of carbs. Through processing, we are now able to mechanically separate the nutritious components of the grain (the bran and germ) away from the endosperm, which is where most of the starchy carbs are contained. This change has led to an obvious reduction in nutrient density, contributes to rampant weight gain and gives refined wheat the ability to spike blood sugar very fast. That's where my son has his issues. Rapidly spiked blood sugar in a kid that has ADHD is never a good thing.

That being said, I will admit that recently I started to speculate whether my son was really affected by gluten or if it really was all just a myth. So a few months ago, I started to relax his diet because he was not gaining weight and he complained about missing bread. I felt like a guilty mommy denying my son something he loved so much. So I started letting him have peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast, which he LOVED.

Unfortunately, I did not LOVE his peanut butter sandwich breakfasts because all the behaviors came right back and he started acting completely out of control again. I couldn't get him dressed in the morning and we'd be late for camp or school. Every day was a constant battle and I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

It all came to a head one morning last week when I was worn out from a night of insomnia, stressed about the day of work ahead and the kiddo was running around the house, screaming and throwing his toys. He wouldn't put on his clothes, was downright mean and mocking to me and then on top of it all, ended up peeing in his pants. I lost it and started yelling, which made him cry and which made me feel terrible. This is not the kind of relationship I want to have with my child and it certainly would not work long term. Something had to change.

Since then, I've put Christopher back on his strict gluten-free diet and it has worked tremendously well for him. He still has a lot of energy in the morning and requires some redirection to get dressed but I am at least in control of the situation and that's a good thing. When I drop him off at school in a good mood, I can relax and feel good about our relationship and about my parenting. If it means he's not getting whatever he wants for breakfast, well that's just the price we have to pay for a good life.

Unlike Buzzworthy, NPR has news written by actual grown-ups and there's an article that says there is still a great deal to learn about gluten that science hasn't figured out yet. This is especially true regarding how diet affects kids with ADHD, Autism and learning disabilities. We definitely have a lot to learn. I would also like to recommend a book called Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis. It's very enlightening.

For the record, my son ate Leapin' Lemurs GF cereal mixed with Corn Chex for breakfast an hour ago and right now he is quietly watching a video on the Kindle while I type this blog post up. I certainly cannot complain about that!

Testing Our Boundaries

It's been a busy summer and I just started training for the Philly Marathon because I really need something I'm doing for myself. For the last three years it's been work work work and mom mom mom and there's been zero me me me. So it's time to change that dynamic a bit. It's been really busy and kind of exhausting but I am really finding that I have more energy and that I"m happier so that's good.

For the most part, Christopher's been great but we have had some challenges sprinkled in there as well.

For example, a rough day this summer was the day that I discovered that Christopher decided to secretly stop taking his ADHD medicine.

I was at work that day and I got a call from YMCA camp asking me to pick the kiddo up because he was having a bad day. It was noon and I was confused but I left work to get him. According to the staff, he was hitting, kicking, and licking the other kids and spat at a counselor. Fun right? Not really.

I picked him up and asked him why this happened today. All I got was a shrug and an "I don't know". 

I was driving home and kind of at a loss. Out of the blue I decided to ask him, "you took your medication today....right?" He puts his head down and says "no."
I said, "what do you mean you didn't take your medicine? I gave it to you this morning".

He replied with, "I wanted to see if I could make it a day without my medicine, so I hid it behind the TV."

"Seriously? Well guess what...we know what happens without your medicine now don't we???" Yeesh.

I took the kiddo home and got him into bed for a much-needed nap and I went back to work on the computer. He woke up and seemed to be better so I thought, great, crisis averted.

I decided to keep his normal babysitter for the evening because he seemed like he was fine. And I really needed a run! So the babysitter arrived that evening and I went off running.

After the run, I checked my phone and had several missed calls from the babysitter, which is never a good sign. Uh oh. I quickly called her and she was practically in tears because Christopher was acting so crazy.

The babysitter had asked him to do his summer workbook pages that I've had him doing. I guess it was a really bad day for that though. By the time I got home, he had thrown lemonade at the babysitter, torn up the house and covered himself in kiddie "slime" he found in a drawer somewhere. He was locked in his room and the babysitter was shaking scared because she'd never seen him like that. Sigh. 

Funny enough though when she left I was able to calm him down pretty quickly, get him to clean his room up, gave him a shower, put some lavender-scented baby lotion on him and then put him to bed with books. I think some of the behaviors must stem from separation anxiety because of how quickly he was able to calm down. 

So the big take-away here is....Christopher REALLY needs his medication. I know it's normal to test boundaries but this is just one boundary that cannot be tested. On the one hand, I was annoyed with him but on the other, I was relieved that the solution was simple: Just take your meds. I was really afraid the Concerta wasn't working anymore and that would be horrible. This is a relief thankfully. Lesson learned though. From now on I will be watching him physically swallow the medication every single day so I can be 100% certain he's taking it. Since then, we've had no problems (knock on wood) and I hope that continues!

The ADHD Mom and Children's Parties: No Fun!

As many of my readers know, my son was diagnosed last September with ADHD and we've had a great deal of success using a multi-pronged approach of diet, structure and medication to treat it. Our normal day to day lives are so much easier now because of that approach. And that's a very very good thing.

What are you supposed to do when you can't follow your normal routine though? Do you keep your child from going to parties that would be fun for him but a nightmare for you? Or do you say let's let him have this one day of fun and you just suck it up because you want to give your kid a "normal" life?

Case in point: Friday night starting at 6pm, Christopher's school had the end of the school year "Spring Fling". It was an ice cream party (no real food) with lots of sugar and artificial dye, loud music and crazy loud little kids running around screaming. Describing the evening as "chaotic" would be an accurate assessment.

I was nervous about the event and also tired from a long week of being a hard working career-building single mom. But how could I say no to Christopher going when all his friends would be there? He'd cry on Monday if he missed this opportunity.

I will say though that the event as well as the next 24 hours were no fun for me. First of all, the party was at the end of a long week and Christopher was tired. It's a lot harder to control yourself if you're tired. Also, his meds had long since worn off so he didn't even have that going for him. The party was SO loud and so Christopher was completely over-stimulated. Not to mention, Christopher ate so much sugar...for dinner. This kid is normally on a gluten free, dye free, processing free diet so for him to eat all this crap with nothing healthy in his stomach was basically like giving him crack as a snack and letting him loose on society. He was a whirling dervish of chaos waiting to happen.

As much as I hate the idea of being a helicopter parent, I had to shadow Christopher the entire party to ensure he didn't hurt himself or the other kids. To make it even more "fun", the school provided these blow up beach toys in the shape of ice cream cones and the sun. This picture below isn't the exact toy but it's similar. They're made out of the same material as a blow-up beach ball and Christopher and the other high energy boys spent the evening pummeling each other with them. I had to pull another kid off him multiple times, his best friend was so wound up he was literally jumping off of furniture with them and Christopher kept whacking kids to the point that I was afraid he'd hurt someone.

Fun right???

We finally left after 2 hours and went home. I walked the dog, gave Christopher some real food, got him a bath and let him unwind for a bit watching the Kindle. By the time he got into bed, it was 10pm, which is a full hour past his normal bed time. He was exhausted. So was I.

The real fun began on Saturday after Christopher woke up at 5:30am with only 8.5 hours of sleep. He was off schedule, off diet and now didn't have enough sleep and we had to go to soccer at 8:30. Normally he is an amazing little soccer player but this day he was whiny, sluggish and cranky. I was tired and cranky too, so that was not a great combo; even worse considering I'm the coach of the team. I had to send him into a time out at the other end of the field at one point, screaming and crying, leaving my team behind. Thank goodness I have an assistant coach who could take over for me. Sometimes, I really wonder what the parents of the other kids think about us.

After the soccer debacle, I canceled plans for the rest of the day and took Christopher home. I was hoping he'd nap but no, he was just all sorts of cranky all afternoon. Considering I had also been awake since 5:30, I was pretty cranky too. Ugh.

Nothing made me happier than putting Christopher to bed at his normal 9pm bedtime last night. I went to bed soon thereafter and we both woke up in much better spirits today. Thankfully it's still the weekend and we have another nice day to enjoy outside.

Meanwhile, tomorrow (Monday), one of Christopher's friends has a birthday party starting at 5pm. I'm like, are you kidding? A party for 6 and 7 year olds on a Monday night? Initially I had RSVP'd yes for the party but I think after the weekend's festivities, I've changed my mind and will RSVP no. It's one thing to have a party and then have the weekend to recover. It's a whole other story to do this on a Monday and then have to go to school (and work) all tired and cranky for the next four days. No thank you.

But now it's time to get outside and enjoy this great weather. Happy Sunday to all.

How Do You Get a Picky Eater to Eat?

My son takes a stimulant medication for his ADHD and it has done wonders to control his focus and his behavioral issues. The downside of it though is that it suppresses appetite. He is also very sensory specific and that translates into being a "picky" eater. He doesn't like anything mushy, ingredients cannot touch each other and there is an entire range of tastes that he just does not like. So with all of that, I have a heck of a time getting the little guy to eat.

Christopher had a wellness check at the doctor's the other day and we learned that he's grown a few inches but has actually lost weight since his last visit. She was concerned about this, to say the least. I am as well.

Today I haven't even given him his meds yet in the hopes that I could get him to eat but I'm not having much luck here either. I even pulled out the blender and thought maybe I could make him some tasty yogurt smoothies that were chock full of protein and vitamins.

The first one I made had greek yogurt, a banana, dutch chocolate, peanut butter and milk. I blended and presented to the kiddo in a glass. He took one sip and said yuck. He didn't like that it smelled like peanut butter. So I drank it. I thought it was tasty actually.

He said he would drink it if I made it with fruit. So I made him a fruit smoothie with banana, greek yogurt. a frozen triple berry blend and protein powder. I thought it tasted great. Once again...yuck from him.

I asked him what he didn't like about it. All he said was that he didn't like the taste. Ugh.

So this time I really stripped it down. Now it's just milk, the triple berry blend and a very small amount of greek yogurt. And you know what? Finally. The kid likes it! Whew.

So it's not nearly as fattening as I would like it to be--the peanut butter or banana would have been a great addition--but maybe I can start with this and start sneaking in little bits of other stuff as he adjusts to the taste. I might try Almond Milk when he's not looking. A coworker suggested I add half and half but I'm not sure how that would taste with the fruit? Could taste like a fruity berry ice cream. Sounds good actually.

What a Rough Week!

I am so glad this week is over and I'm sure my kiddo is glad too.

Christopher came home from school with notes every single day this week. Here is a roundup of our less than stellar week:

Monday: Threw pencils at kids across the room
Tuesday: Hitting, biting, pushing and spitting on kids in the after school program
Wednesday: I didn't even read the note
Thursday: Kicked a girl in the head in the after-school program
Friday: Crying in class; Jumped on friend because he wanted the book she had in her hands

Aaahhh the joys of an ADHD former-foster kid.

What happened this week? We had been doing so well the last few months and now it seems almost like we're back at square one again. I do have some theories:

1. Christopher's therapy is about to end and the therapy team told him on Monday that he was going to "graduate" next week. Christopher has lost two therapists before these two because they had left the practice to get new jobs. Each time Christopher transitioned away from the old therapist to a new therapist, he acted out in ways similar to the above. It makes sense that Tuesday was his worst day because that was the day after he was told he was losing Mary and Mike.
   
   I asked Christopher on Wednesday evening if losing Mike and Mary was upsetting him and he said yes. I also asked him if he thought he was going to be taken away again and he said yes to that as well. Ugh. So my child is acting out because he's afraid he's going to taken away and put into another stranger's foster home. What a heartbreaking thought. I can't imagine always being afraid that I was going to lose my home and my family but this is the reality for so many kids unfortunately. Thankfully that's not the reality for MY kid though and I reassured him that this was his forever home and that he was stuck with me.
   
   It's frustrating because clearly this kid needs some sort of help but what do you do when the services your child gets to help him with his trauma history is what is actually causing the problems? I can talk to the therapists but what can they do? They're "graduating" him next week. Then we're on our own. Not really what I need but it is what it is.
   
   I spoke with Christopher's teacher and she said he could see the therapist at the school if he has an IEP. We are scheduled for IEP testing later this month so hopefully he qualifies and can start receiving services through the school.
   
   
2. After being off school for two weeks, Christopher is way off of his routine. Christopher does not do well at all when he's off his routine. He may need some time to re-adjust to his long days at school and the after-school program again. Lots of kids. Lots of stimulation. And lots of being tired by the end of the day. All those factors can be rough on a kid with ADHD. Hopefully he adjusts next week.
   
   
3. I may have forgotten to give Christopher his ADHD medication on Tuesday. Oops on my part. I too am off my normal routine and with trying to remember so many different things in the morning, I think I forgot possibly one of the most important. After his tough day on Tuesday though, I will never let that mistake happen again.

We'll see if next week is better and I truly hope it is, or else I'll have to figure something out. We'll see. Wish us lots of luck. I think we may just need it.

Just a Quick Update on the Family

It's been a while since I provided an update on what's been going on in the life and times of my little Christopher so I thought I'd provide one here.

For the most part, all is going well. Christopher has responded well to his strict diet and to his medication so he is able to focus better in school and he's not nearly so hyperactive. I dread the day (if it ever comes) that he builds up an immunity to his meds because they have been a total godsend to us. We'll just address that day if and when it arrives I guess. In the meantime, I am so relieved when he sits on the sofa, quietly reading a book, like he's doing right now.

I did give Christopher some Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup yesterday, which probably has dye and gluten and all sorts of crap preservatives in it, but he wasn't feeling well and I wanted to give him some comfort food to make him happy. All the hyper behaviors came back within an hour though so it's clear that diet plays a big role in managing his ADHD. I will just need to be stricter going forward.

I emailed Christopher's social worker the other day to ask how I could get the DCF subsidy reinstated now that we have a diagnosis. She wrote me back with the name and contact information of who to speak with in the subsidies unit and I will give that woman a call tomorrow. It's not a ton of money but every little bit helps.

I've also got paperwork to fill out so that the kiddo can be tested at school for special ed services. I'm not sure if he'll qualify as it seems the bar is set pretty low but I can only try and see how it goes. He still really needs a lot of 1:1 attention both at school and at home on his work and I want to make sure that this need is documented so that he gets it going forward.

As for me, right now I am getting over a cold and also feel a little like all I do is go to work and come home and care for my kiddo but I do have a few days coming up with the holidays so I look forward to that. I have to admit, I was not performing my best parenting yesterday mostly because I was just plain exhausted. It didn't help that Christopher was up at 3:30 this morning, trying to watch television. I had to get up and put him back to bed and stay awake till he finally fell back to sleep. I'm still feeling a bit worn out but hopefully I can get some decent sleep tonight.

We are leaving in an hour to go to the first birthday party for a new friend from Kindergarten and my kiddo is super excited. It's for a little girl and I bought her a Barbie Styling Head as a birthday gift. Hope she likes it. What little girl doesn't love Barbie?

And that's it for us. Hope everyone is having a great day.

xoxo

Parenting Tips for Raising an ADHD Child

I've seen that there are so many parents like myself struggling with how to provide the best care to our ADHD children for optimal results. I am blessed because I have worked hard to give my ADHD kid the assistance he needs and the results have been tremendous. My son went from being highly aggressive, disruptive and in constant time outs. He would complain that kids didn't want to play with him and parents would either glare or yell at me on the playground. My kiddo also had lots of trouble focusing in school.

Fast forward to today and now he has friends, he loves sports, rarely gets put into a time out anymore and does well in school. The difference in my child is actually pretty huge.

This journey wasn't quick or easy but it can be done and some of the results are immediate, which will make it worthwhile right out of the gate. My son is living proof. So that said, I thought I would share some of the tactics I've used to help the kiddo be a successful, meaningful, happy member of the community.

Medication

Some kids' ADHD symptoms can be managed without medication but my child is not one of those kids. I give him 10 mg of Metadate CD and it has made a world of difference. Before medication, he lacked impulse control which resulted in him hitting, pushing and scratching children, mostly when he was really excited. He also had trouble focusing in school. Now that he takes meds, he can control himself and focus better in school. I've seen the dramatic difference and so have my friends.

I only give my son enough medication to make it through the school day and just deal with the crazy child when he's home with me in the evening. That way he is able to sleep at night. I've heard that insomnia is a symptom of medication and I definitely want my child sleeping at night. Right now he sleeps like a ROCK so that's good.

Just so you know, the idea of medication initially scared me because I heard about all these terrible side effects. However if you can keep the dosage low, there are no side effects, at least with our meds. Also, you need a top-notch medication like Metadate. I'm lucky that our insurance covers its cost because I've heard that not all parents' insurance plans qualify. I'm sorry to hear that. I was lucky in that the first med we tried works wonders for my kiddo but I do understand that for some families, that is not the case. Please be patient and work with your doctor to get your child the help he/she needs. The child will thank you for it in the end.

Diet

We are gluten free, dye free and I limit the amount of processed sugar my child can have. We are heavy into the Paleo lifestyle (lots of protein, fruits and veggies and very organic). This has worked wonders for my kiddo and also allows us to keep the medication dosage low, so that we don't have any issues with side effects. Even before I started the medication, I noticed a difference in his behaviors. He was still impulsive but not nearly as aggressive. So the clean diet has eliminated about 60% of the problem and the low dosage of Metadate does the rest.

Just an FYI, if you're going for a clean diet, you'll need extra time at the grocery store because you are now going to be reading every. single. label. This takes times. Also, you'll need to know where all the truly healthy food is shelved and this also adds to the time you need. It's confusing and time consuming, but so worth it in the end.

Vitamins

I give my son a dye-free multi-vitamin called Yummi Gummy Bears. Yes I know that there is sugar in the gummies but it's such a small gummy and the kiddo thinks it's a treat because it tastes so yummy. I just have to make sure he brushes his teeth well after eating one.

Side note: I had tried out the Omega-3 and DHA gummy but discovered it made my son super sleepy. I noticed it but thought at first he was just fighting off a bug or something. But then it became so bad that his Kindergarten teacher actually emailed me to say he was "foggy" in school, so I immediately stopped giving it to him. I don't know why this happened but I just wanted to let people know in case you experience this for yourselves.

Magnesium vs. Melatonin

Some ADHD kids have trouble sleeping and I've discovered that Magnesium is a GREAT cure for insomnia. My son doesn't suffer from insomnia but I have all my life. I've started taking magnesium every evening and now sleep SO well. I've also discovered that it has cured my migraines, which I had been getting daily due to the changing seasons. I have read that 50% of migraine sufferers have a magnesium deficiency so there's apparently a known correlation. So if you have migraines, you might want to try magnesium as well.

Side note: Some parents choose to give their kids melatonin for sleeping but I've read you should not do this on a daily basis. It takes away the body's ability to naturally get tired on its own. Plus, kids will eventually build up a tolerance and will need a higher and higher dosage. I've read about kids getting nightmares from the higher dosages so I stay away from all that. Magnesium is definitely a much better way to go.

Regarding magnesium, you could give a supplement or give your child (or yourself) a lavender Epsom bath of no longer than 20 minutes (or else you start to sweat it back out). Epsom salts are full of magnesium and so a bath is a healthy, relaxing way to get the magnesium you or your child needs to sleep.

Exercise

My very active son needs tons of exercise. If he doesn't get exercise starting first thing in the morning, he often gets himself into trouble. Unfortunately, "first thing" to my child is often 6am so as a mom who is NOT a morning person, this has been rough. I've had to change my own ways in order to accommodate the needs of my child and I do it because that's what we moms do. So if you find your ADHD kiddo acting out in the morning, make sure they're getting the exercise they need to provide an outlet for all that energy. The saying, "idle hands are the devil's workshop" is SO very true for ADHD kids!

My son goes to the before-school program at 7:15 every morning. He LOVES it. Why? Because he gets to run around the gym for an hour before he has to sit for several hours at a time. It gets all that little boy hyper energy out so that he has the ability to sit still for the rest of the day.

Sports

My kiddo is active in the town's U6 soccer league and also takes swimming lessons at the YMCA. Side note: Soccer only worked well once we started medication because he needed that impulse control that medication provided. He stopped hitting and pushing the other kids, made friends, scored goals and felt great about himself. The fall session of soccer has ended but we are already signed up for the winter session, which starts in January.

Swimming was great even before we started medication. Quite honestly, my son cannot hit or push kids if he's swimming because he needs both of his hands just to keep himself afloat. Plus, it wears him out, which is pretty huge for a hyperactive kiddo. If you're having trouble with energy and impulse control for your ADHD kid, I highly recommend swimming as an activity.

Become an ally with your child's teacher

Your child spends a good chunk of his or her day at school and the teacher is a big component of whether your child will fail or succeed in life. You need a strong relationship with your child's teacher. You may not always agree with them but you do need to listen to them. And you need to know how to effectively communicate with them so your child's needs are met without creating any animosity. Too many parents go into school demanding to get their way and that is not the way to handle the situation.

Work with your school and don't fight them unless they are blatantly disregarding the needs of your child. This does happen of course and there are resources out there to help you if that does happen. However I think the first effort at working together needs to occur with open communication.

Setting your child up for success in the classroom

Also, remember that your child is only one of at least 15 kids that the teacher oversees. If your child is hitting other kids and can't be controlled in the classroom, it disrupts all the other kids and that certainly isn't fair to anyone. Do what you need to do to make sure that your child is calm and focused before entering the classroom. That includes ensuring they have enough sleep at night, have a healthy, protein-filled diet (no artificial dyes and processed sugar!) and medication, if necessary. You as a parent have a role to play in ensuring the success of your child in the classroom. Take that responsibility seriously.

The right school services

My son is in an integrated Kindergarten, which means the class size is smaller and there is more focused attention. This has worked wonders for my kiddo because he is getting the help he needs to succeed in his school work.

Individual Education Plans (IEPs) vs. 504s

We are also in the process of getting testing for my son for special education services. His doctor at Children's Hospital thinks he will qualify for an IEP because of his ADHD and so I've got a mountain of paperwork to fill out right now, sitting on my dresser. I will take care of that this weekend.

I honestly don't know anything about a 504 but have read that they exist. I know you can have an IEP or a 504 but not both. But that's really all I do know. If you want to learn more about this option, you will need to research that on your own.

Structure and routine

I have discovered that the structure and routine of school makes a huge difference in my son's behaviors. I actually paid a boat-load of money for a nanny over the summer, thinking that my son needed a break from all that routine but it turned out that this wasn't the best choice for him. It was crazy expensive for me and my son's behaviors actually got worse because he didn't have a strict routine anymore. Once school started again, he was so much better behaved and honestly, really quite happy. He tells me he loves school and that thrills me. And it's a lot cheaper for me too. So win-win all around.

Take care of basic needs first

Is your child hungry, tired or over-stimulated? Is he/she getting enough positive attention from you? Or is your child in need of exercise and thus acting out? Many times an outburst can be avoided if you realize what your child needs and act accordingly. Yes, sometimes that's very hard to do because hey, you want to focus on yourself occasionally. But if you do, just know that your kiddo will probably act out in reaction. No one said parenting an ADHD kid was easy.

Get help when you need it

There are times when your child's needs are bigger than you. That's when you need to get outside help. For example, my family receives weekly in-home therapy to help me manage my son's impulsive behaviors at home. My son also attends weekly play therapy to help him work through his issues and he also has a therapeutic mentor, which is kind of like a Big Brother but comes with a social worker degree. These services have been huge for us as a family and I can honestly say that Christopher is a much different, much better child today than he was when he came to live with me two years ago as a foster child. I am also a better parents because of it. I can't rave enough about the services we've received.

Discipline

ADHD is a diagnosis, not an excuse and you as a parent need to set firm boundaries and follow through on punishment, as appropriate. Your child needs to respect you as a parent and also needs to understand the consequences of their actions, if they break the rules. 

We follow the 1-2-3 Magic plan and it works well for us. If I start counting "mississippi's", my son knows to stop whatever he's doing before I get to "5 mississippi's", or else he will face the consequences. The consequences generally mean he loses out on something he loves so you may have to take away whatever that reward is a few times before your kid realizes, hey, mom isn't kidding. It's no fun to listen to your child scream and cry but once again, no one ever said parenting an ADHD kid was easy.

Time Outs

If my child is feeling over-stimulated and acting out he gets a time out in his room. I set the timer on the stove for 5 minutes (one minute per year of his age) and if he tries to come out early, I add a minute to the timer. That has worked well to calm him down but also give me a few minutes to calm down as well. Hey, sometimes we parents need as much of a break as the kids do!

Lots and lots of love, encouragement and patience

ADHD kids often lack self-esteem because of their behavioral issues and inability to focus in school. They want to be good but just don't always know how to be. So that's where patience and extra amounts of hugs and kisses come in, to make sure our kiddos know we still love them no matter what they do. My son feels insecure sometimes and he needs a lot of extra reassurance that I will always love him, forever and ever. Just this morning at 6am he starts jumping on my bed and I told him as calmly as I could, "if I get mad at you, I will yell and you don't want that. So please stop jumping on my bed before I get really angry". The kiddo immediately stopped jumping but started crying, saying I didn't love him anymore. I needed to reassure him that of course I still love him but that he needs to listen to mommy too. That worked and he went into the other room to watch Henry Hugglemonster on Disney Jr. I got another 30 minutes of sleep after that, so all was good. Win-win all around.

Get Time for yourself when you need it

Being a parent of an ADHD kid can certainly be exhausting and sometimes you need some fun time as well. That's why I love babysitters! I've got a weekly babysitter who comes every Monday night, who plays with my son and allows me to go shopping, out to dinner with friends or to the gym. Whatever it is I choose to do, it's always about ME. Sometimes we need that and you should never ever feel bad about looking out for your own needs. I think taking a break helps make me a better parent.

Remember...you're only human

Raising an ADHD kid is tough! In writing all the stuff above about how I'm able to help my son, I want you to know that it's not all sunshine and roses. Sometimes I'm tired or stressed or just running late and I will yell at my son. Nothing vicious...just more along the lines of, I TOLD you to put your shoes on! Do it NOW!!" Some days I feel overwhelmed by life and those are the days I just want to cry. And you know what? That's okay too. Something else I've been battling lately is that I'm just reeeallly tired. Like all the time. My little "alarm clock" wakes me up at 6am every day, regardless of the day of the week and unfortunately, he doesn't come with a snooze button. When he's ready to go, it's time to get up. And right now, I'm feeling so worn out because of it. So we're going to have a quiet afternoon today. The thing is, you do the best you can and try to be kind to yourself when you can't be Super Mom 24x7.

These are just a few of the ways I am able to best care for my ADHD kiddo but honestly, I could write a book on the subject. And maybe someday I will! In the meantime, I hope these tips were helpful and be sure to share any feedback on what works for you and your ADHD family.

Happy Halloween!

I can't believe that Halloween has actually come and gone already. Where has the time gone???

My little guy wanted to dress up as Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates. However, that particular costume cost $10 more than the generic pirate costume from Target. So I just told my kiddo that he was Jake and dressed him as a regular old pirate. He was comfortable, I was $10 richer and everyone was happy. Win-win all around.

Halloween's a tough holiday for a child with ADHD. The sugar and dye from the candy makes my son SO incredibly hyper. Plus the sights, sounds and flashing lights of the night totally sends him into sensory overload and he tends to start melting down. Plus, ADHD kids thrive on routine and this was a night that took us WAY off our normal routine. It can kinda be a recipe for disaster if you're not careful.

I discovered a couple of tips and tricks for a positive Halloween experience and I will share them with you here:

1. Start earlier, not later. My son really needs his sleep and if he gets to bed too late, it's ugly for him (and everyone else around him) the next day. So for that reason, we started trick or treating by 5:15 so we could be done on the early side. We were done by 7:15 and home in bed by 8:30.
2. If you sense your child is becoming overwhelmed, make that your cue to leave. My son started to melt down and at first I tried to pull him aside into an impromptu time out to calm him down. Yeah that didn't really work. There was way too much loud activity going on around us. When the whole trick or treating experience started to not be fun for him or me anymore, then we left and went home. It was a bummer because my friends and their kids were still out and about and I personally was having fun. But if your kid's miserable, you will soon be miserable as well. Sometimes you just have to recognize your child's limitations and accept that. I give him credit because he did last for two hours but when he was done...he was done.
3. Take advantage of the Switch Witch. I want my son to have the fun experience of trick or treating but I do not want him eating 10 lbs. of candy afterwards. The processed sugar and the artificial dye makes him go absolutely bonkers. And not in a good way. So we had a visit from the Switch Witch and that solved all our problems. The way the Switch Witch works is, your child leaves all their candy at the foot of their bed and overnight while they sleep, the Switch Witch comes in and switches your candy out for a requested toy. In our case, we got an Angry Birds Star Wars Jenga Tie Fighter game. My son LOVES it and he's not running around insane, making me want to scream. Once again, win-win for everyone.

Even though we got home by 7:30 on Halloween night, my son was so incredibly over-stimulated that he was awake until 10pm that night. The next day was Friday and he managed to make it through the school day okay but by the time Saturday rolled around, he was pretty exhausted. So we've had a pretty low key weekend. Lots of napping. But hey at least we'll both be relaxed and well rested for the week ahead now.

Can a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace Ease the Symptoms of ADHD and SPD?

I am in an ADHD parents' support group on Facebook and one of the moms mentioned that when her ADHD child started chewing on her baby's Baltic Amber teething necklace, that the child immediately calmed down...so much so that she ran to the computer to write a post about it.

Now apparently, although it's a teething necklace, you can't actually chew on it. Instead you wear it. The way it works is, you wear the Baltic Amber and your warm skin heats up the amber enough to release traces of Succinic Acid. This oil is then absorbed by the skin and acts as a natural pain reliever and calming influence on children.

I personally haven't tried it but I did some research online and it doesn't appear to be a hoax. Parents are saying their fussy children slept through the night for the first time after one day of wearing the Baltic Amber.
Hey, if it soothes a fussy baby, wouldn't it make sense that it might soothe a fussy ADHD kid as well?

Please bear in mind that it must be Baltic Amber as no other type of amber has the same healing properties. Also, you must wear it next to your skin--with no clothing getting in between the skin and necklace. Otherwise, the necklace won't work.

So if you're looking for a way for your child to get some possible relief from the usual ADHD symptoms, then this might be the option for you. The necklace is attractive and if it also calms the ADHD symptoms, hey all the better. Last but not least, it's less than $20 per necklace on Amazon.com. Very reasonable!

If you're interested in checking out the Baltic Amber teething necklace, you can find it at Amazon.com.

ADHD Medication Side Effect: No Appetite

My kiddo is doing SO well now. Seriously, it's like night and day from earlier this summer when he was acting out of control and unbelievably impulsive. The combo of a rigid schedule, a strict no gluten/no artificial dye/limited processed food diet with a daily vitamin + lots of exercise through the before-school program and last but not least, 10 mg of Metadata is the perfect recipe for a calm, happy little boy. And if my little boy is calm and happy, I'm calm and happy. It's win-win for everyone right?

The only issue we have is, that because of the medication, Christopher has lost his appetite. So getting him to eat anything at meals is a bit of a battle. He's such a skinny minny now!

I try to feed him things he enjoys so he eats a lot of fruits and vegetables. But I need to make sure he's going to get enough protein. He's just not all that interested in meat and won't eat turkey roll-ups or even cut up steak.

We were doing really well with peanut butter and apple slices but then one day the kiddo decided to use his clothes as a napkin (instead of an actual napkin) and I received a call at work. I was asked to come in with a change of clothes for my little man and also asked not to give him peanut butter anymore. I guess  there's a child in the class with a peanut allergy and they didn't want any issues.

So since then I've tried a few things, all with little luck. Today I sent him to school with sunflower butter and apple slices though and he said he liked it. So we may be okay again.

I also worked out a plan with the teacher that Christopher knows that he has to eat his lunch if he wants to watch Angry Birds videos on the Kindle in the evening. It worked and right now, Christopher is watching Angry Birds on the Kindle.

So sunflower butter + Kindle rewards: Another recipe for success? We'll see how it goes.

Children and the Mental Health Epidemic

Kids and Mental Health:

This week, there were two tragic stories in the news here in New England. A 24 year old Math teacher was killed by a 14 year old student in Danvers, MA and in another incident, a teenager from NH tried to kill his mother, after she withheld his ADHD medicine because she was concerned it was making him violent. (Sounds like she was right.)

I'm a member of an ADHD parents support group on Facebook and I have to say, after hearing stories like the above and seeing posts by other parents, I'm starting to be really afraid. I'm afraid that serious mental health issues in kids is on the rise yet resources and treatment options are not.

According to the Center for Disease Control, there are currently 5.2 million children diagnosed with ADHD. This number has risen dramatically. The number of parent-reported cases of ADHD increased 22% from 2003-2007, the last year for which I could find data.

That means that there is an increase of 22% of kids requiring medical care, additional school resources  and overall special care from caregivers who have not been trained to deal with the symptoms that these kids exhibit. Meanwhile, budgets are tighter than ever so schools are doing more with less and healthcare costs as always continue to skyrocket. Medical providers are overwhelmed, which I know about all too well. It took us eight months to get an appointment at Children's Hospital and literally, all they did was give us a prescription and ask me to check in again in three months. Seriously, I waited eight months for that?

Also, the best treatments for a child are often not covered by health insurance providers so kids are given medication that doesn't best address their issues. This means there could be serious side effects that as I mentioned above, could have serious results. My son is covered by MassHealth so I'm lucky in that respect. But other parents in the Facebook support group have private insurance and say that their prescriptions cost $150 a month and that's for Ritalin. They can't even get Metadate (my son's medication) because their insurance doesn't cover it. 

Last but not least is the lack of funding for mental health research on children. Kids brains are still developing until they are seven years old. Then of course they continue to grow and hormonal fluctuations kick in which could also affect their mental health. The current diagnosis for ADHD consists of two different people checking off boxes on a checklist (the Vanderbilt Diagnostic Parent Rating Scale). If those two different people pretty much say the same thing, then a diagnosis of ADHD is given.

Unfortunately the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder mimic the symptoms of ADHD so it's difficult to determine which illness the child has without a trial and error approach. This means that the doctor prescribes a stimulant to the child and if it works, the kid has ADHD. If it doesn't work, the child probably has something else. As you can imagine, the number of ADHD mis-diagnoses is really high. This could have tragic results.

Earlier this week I was reading posts on the Facebook ADHD page and there was a mom out of her mind, not knowing what to do because her 10-year-old daughter was threatening to kill herself. No one else on this page knew what to do for her but I finally chimed in and told this complete stranger to call her daughter's doctor's after hours emergency number immediately. Thank God she listened and now her daughter has been hospitalized. Holy cow, the last thing I want to read on Facebook is that some woman's child has killed herself but what if I hadn't said anything? What would she have done? I can imagine she's overwhelmed but this could have had a very tragic ending if I, a total stranger, didn't tell her what to do. I don't want that kind of responsibility!

A coworker told me this week that her sister in law has a son that's bipolar and that she has had a knife to her throat on more than one occasion because bipolar kids can be violent, thanks to medication and its terrible side effects. Another parent on the Facebook page wrote one day to say her son woke her and her husband up in the middle of the night, standing at the side of the bed with a knife hovering over her husband. WHAT THE HELL!

When kids are young, you are stronger than they are but what about when they get older and they become stronger than you? That's when you end up with the case of the woman from NH who was stabbed by her son. And that is when you end up with a case like Sandy Hook in Newtown, CT. Terrible, terrible.

I'm not kidding when I say I think our mental health epidemic is going to get worse before it gets better. Until we as a nation decide to spend more money on research and treatment of mental health disorders in children, we are going to have more news stories like the above. Considering I have a school age child, it pretty much scares the daylights out of me knowing so many of these tragedies are happening at school. 

So how do we make change? I really have no idea. I wish I did.

Foster Kids and ADHD

I just read an article that cited a Canadian study that found kids who come from "unstable families" have a higher "stress thermostat" set in hyper-vigilant mode. This results in a heightened sense of fight or flight, sleep deprivation, wired nerves and ADHD, especially in young boys.

This is so 100% Christopher. His therapists have actually used the words hyper-vigilant when describing him to me. Poor kid had a very difficult life with his birth mother. He was forcibly yanked away from her by police in what must have been a terrifying episode involving lots of yelling, flashing lights, sirens and loaded weapons all in his little terrified 2 year old face. Then he was bounced from foster home to foster home to foster home, confused, alone, without any one single stable person in his life. This little kid believed no one would look out for him and he became hyper-vigilant to his surroundings because even at the age of two, he believed he had to look out for himself. Makes total sense to me.

This hyper-vigilance made it difficult for me to decide that he had to have ADHD. I thought if I gave him time along with a lot of stability, love and patience, that his impulsiveness would ebb away. And in some ways it did. A year ago, Christopher couldn't even stand in the bathroom to brush his teeth. I'd hand him his toothbrush, he'd grab it and run out of the room, with me behind him yelling to come back. This happened every single day.

I had to double lock every door of the house because Christopher used to run outside into the street if he felt like it. I also couldn't walk down the street with Christopher initially because he was so impulsive, he'd run away from me and into the street. Thank the Lord nothing ever happened to him. However, I did always tell his social worker what was going on because God forbid, something ever did happen to this child, I wanted to make sure she knew I wouldn't have been at fault. I really thought it was that serious.

Christopher fits into other risk factors as well:

• He was born a month early. According to a Swedish study, children who were born prematurely run a higher risk of contracting ADHD. This is because their little brains are not yet developed enough to navigate the modern world and neuro pathways end up forming incorrectly. Preemies experience heightened neo-natal pain, separation from mom (due to incubators), lots of lights and beeping sounds and sometimes this is overwhelming for the underdeveloped little tyke.
• Christopher was born into poverty. His father was an illegal alien who was deported from the country when he was just a baby. His mother was poor and probably did not feed him nutritionally balanced meals. (Since Christopher exhibits food hoarding symptoms at times, it's pretty obvious neglect meant little to no food during important growth times). Poor people tend to feed their kids more processed foods and fewer fish and veggies. All this can affect the development of a child's brain
• Christopher was born to a mentally ill mother. His birth mother, although never tested, suffered from some form of mental illness; probably something of the bi-polar variety. Mental illness is unfortunately often hereditary so it makes perfect sense that Christopher would suffer some sort of illness that could be found in the DSM-IV.

So fast forward to today and I am not at all shocked that all this instability, poverty and history of mental illness has resulted in an ADHD diagnosis in Christopher. Frankly, we're lucky that it's not worse than it is. Christopher's illness responds very well to both medication and diet and for that I am thankful. He is smart, a successful student, an outstanding athlete and he has many friends. He even told me he has a girlfriend in his Kindergarten class. Considering the background this kid comes from he's doing phenomenally well.

If you're interested in learning more about the causes of ADHD, feel free to click here and here.

Was Medication for ADHD The Right Choice?

It has been one week since my son's ADHD was diagnosed and I started him on medication. Truthfully, he received the diagnosis week ago Thursday but I was so flat out swamped with work and then sick with an awful bout of food poisoning, that I couldn't get the prescription filled until Sunday. Not enough hours in the day sometimes.

Anyway, I really struggled with the choice to medicate Christopher because the idea of medication that comes with side effects can be a bit scary. But ultimately I have to say it was the best decision I could have made. Christopher is doing amazingly on the medication and it has really improved his life.

The kiddo is on 10 mg of Metadate CD, which as I understand is the "hot, new" ADHD medication. Hey check us out. We're trendy. Who knew? Anyway, I'm happy with it because it really works and I don't see any side effects other than Christopher's appetite is a bit wonky. Some days I have trouble getting him to eat anything but then it all seems to catch up with him and he's starving a few days later and eats everything in sight. I need him to have all his nutrients though so I do worry on those low hunger days. I guess it's just important to ensure there's always foods that he likes in the house so that I can get him to eat something when I need him to eat something those days.

Other than that, Christopher has done GREAT on this medication. He tells me he loves the way he feels too. He said he could complete his school work more easily and that he didn't have any "do-over" work on the table (which I guess is what you get if the first time you do some work, it's not perfect and you need to do it over. Yeah they are working these 5 year olds pretty hard).

I've also noticed that he's just calmer and his teachers tell me they see it as well. He's not hitting or slamming into kids in the after-school program anymore, which is huge since that was a problem for us.

The big test was soccer yesterday. Christopher has a way of getting a bit intense on the soccer field and next thing you know, every little kid around him has been knocked down as he fights to get the ball into the goal, like he is a one-man soccer team. Last week they actually stopped the game five minutes early because of the intensity and the coaches were afraid someone was going to get hurt.

This week, Christopher was a soccer playing superstar. He has all the speed and all the agility of a fierce competitor but none of the aggression. He's competitive and was matching up pretty well against two kids on the other team that were amazing players (as far as five year olds go) as well. Christopher went after the ball, not the kids and that was awesome to watch. Christopher scored FIVE goals yesterday and I credit his medication for giving him the ability to focus and control himself so that his skills were able to shine instead of his behaviors.

I know it's a personal decision that every parent needs to make based on the needs of their child but in our case, I'm really confident we made the right choice. Please note that I also still think diet plays a HUGE role and so Christopher is still gluten free and artificial dye free. Plus I've started him on a multi-vitamin that has Omega-3 in it since I hear that helps with ADHD behaviors. I figure that I can keep him on a lower dosage of medication if I also treat his disorder with diet as well. This way I can stave off any potential weird side effects that I read about and which make me nervous. So far so good though and I'm hoping for the best.

The ADHD Kid Diet

I've decided to medicate my kid (for now at least) to manage his ADHD symptoms. I think he does need it, although the idea of side effects can be scary.

However I would like to do as much as I can for him through simple diet management. The medical community isn't jumping on the diet bandwagon just yet but other moms living with their ADHD-affected kids are finding some things are successful. And I trust them. For example....

Elimination Diets:

I have removed gluten and artificial dyes from Christopher's diet. Since doing so I have noticed a dramatic improvement in his demeanor. Where he used to be violent, he is now much calmer. He used to spin around in circles and slam into people. He couldn't stop himself from hitting, biting and pushing other kids. No one wanted to be around him. And I was at my wit's end.

Once I removed gluten and artificial dye from Christopher's diet, the aggression stopped immediately. It was a god send! However, he can still be a little impulsive. And he will still get over-stimulated and sometimes slam into people. Clearly we're not completely done.

According to WebMD, there are other dietary changes we need to make.

• Eat a high-protein diet, including beans, cheese, eggs, meat, and nuts. Add protein foods in the morning and for after-school snacks, to improve concentration and possibly increase the time ADHD medications work.
• Eat fewer simple carbohydrates, such as candy, corn syrup, honey, sugar, white rice, and potatoes without the skins.
• Eat more complex carbohydrates, such as vegetables and some fruits (including oranges, tangerines, pears, grapefruit, apples, and kiwi). Eating complex carbs at night may aid sleep.
• Eat more omega-3 fatty acids, such as those found in tuna, salmon, other cold-water white fish, walnuts, Brazil nuts, and olive and canola oil. Omega-3 fatty acids are also available in supplement form.

So in essence, say no to:

• Gluten 
• Artificial dye
• Candy
• Corn syrup
• Sugar
• White rice
• Potatoes

Say yes to more: 

• Beans 
• Meat
• Nuts
• Oranges
• Tangerines
• Pears
• Grapefruit
• Apples
• Kiwi
• Tuna
• Salmon
• Walnuts
• Brazil nuts
• Olive oil
• Omega-3 supplements

Sounds like I've got a grocery list to make...

To Medicate or Not to Medicate

We finally got our diagnosis from Children's Hospital and no surprise, it was ADHD. The doctor also noted that Christopher seems to have trouble identifying letters and is well below Kindergarten level there so she's concerned that there's dyslexia as well.

I agree with the ADHD but not so much with the dyslexia. Christopher's been learning some things more slowly than other kids his age--potty training was a challenge for example. And I'm still battling with him to use a fork at the dinner table. So I think it's a learning delay, as opposed to dyslexia.

I've seen his school work and he seems to get a lot of "happy faces". He is writing and the letters look normal (for a 5 year old that is). Plus he loves school and doesn't appear to be frustrated at all. So I think maybe he just needs a little extra attention for reading and writing. I will ask the school to provide testing though and we'll get to the bottom of that.

However I totally agree with the ADHD diagnosis. Plus, I'd also throw in SPD and ODD for good measure as well. The doctor gave us a prescription for Metadate CD and suggested I try that out with Christopher. A low dosage to start: just 10 mg per day.

I did some research on ADHD medications and there are definite side effects which scared the bejesus out of me. I'm like I'm supposed to do this to my child??? No way!

Then I started asking around and I joined an ADHD parents' group on Facebook and learned that there are a lot of parents going through what I'm going through now. And everyone says that the medication is fine. I liked how they said if it doesn't work out for your child, you could just stop. Truth told, I hadn't thought about that--I felt like once we started I was locked in--so I appreciated that as an option.

I looked into holistic options as well (since I realized diet makes a huge difference, why not consider herbal supplements?) But the thing about herbal supplements is that nothing is regulated by the FDA and these supplements could have some strong components to them as well. I went onto the Amazon.com site and looked up Brightspark, for example because I had heard about that as an option. I started reading the reviews and saw that one woman reported that her child was experiencing something called Micropsia, and it was because a form of Arsenic is one of the top ingredients and it was affecting her daughter's brain chemistry. I'm sorry but...Arsenic??? In a children's medicine???

I just don't know how I feel about going to the Internet and buying powerful psychotropic supplements that are not regulated by the FDA and that are being administered to young children. Do we have any idea their safety protocols? Do we understand how they will affect little kids? And are they really putting Arsenic in them??

Long story short, I decided to start Christopher today on the Metadate and we'll see how it goes. He mentioned today while we were at the dog park that he was super thirsty but aside from that, so far so good. No negative side affects. Yet. I did notice that he played with his friend Salvi for an entire hour without shoving him as well, so that's equally good. Hopefully this was the right decision for us. I guess we'll see.

Diet Fail This Week

Christopher got into trouble at school this week for pushing kids. Plus I realized he was acting out at home again. I actually had to put him into a time out the other day for the first time in weeks. This surprised me because he had been doing so well.  But soon I realized this was entirely my fault. I had gotten lazy on enforcing his diet and he ended up eating gluten and artificial dyes, which make him act aggressively. I know this and yet I still let it happen. Bad mommy!

My kid had been doing so well... SO well on his gluten free, artificial dye free diet. He was listening and respectful and he was keeping his hands to himself. I know he still had the impulsive thoughts (because he told me so) but he was able to override while he followed the elimination diet.

However this week, I knew he was getting a Pop-tart each day during the after-school program and I didn't stop it. I also saw that one of the kids had a birthday and brought in Blow Pops for each of the kids in the program to take. I let Christopher have one so I wouldn't seem like the "mean mommy". On another day, the kids played Bingo and when each child won a round, they'd get a lollipop. So Christopher had yet another no-no food this week and I allowed it because I didn't want to be mean.

Last but not least, I *thought* I had bought gluten free ice cream cones at Whole Foods but I bought organic, wheat-based cones instead. So every night, I think I'm giving Christopher a healthy GF treat for dessert and lo and behold, instead I'm actually contributing to the problem. Mommy fail.

After being told that Christopher's behavioral issues had returned and seeing his hyperactivity for myself, I realized I needed to be super strict with his diet. This mom had learned her lesson the hard way but I learned!

So now I will provide a Gluten-free, artificial dye-free snack + dye-free juice to the after school program every day. I'm also throwing away the remaining ice cream cones. Lastly, when Christopher comes home with a dye-filled piece of candy, I'll just switch it out with an approved treat. He really likes Lucy's Brownie Cakes so I will always keep a stash of those in the house. They're a bit pricey but I think all kids should still be able to enjoy tasty treats and this also helps me not feel like "mean mommy".

So now Christopher's week-day diet will look something like this:

Breakfast

Chocolate milk

Sliced fruit

Handful of garbanzo beans

Lunch

Honest Kids Juice (favorite flavor is grape)

Two turkey roll-ups

Sliced fruit

School Snack

Pirate Booty

After School Program Snack

Honest Kids Juice 

Lucy's chocolate brownie

Ta da! This will work. Christopher will still have a fun, tasty treat with the other kids while also ensuring that he maintains a strict diet that helps regulate his behaviors more effectively. So we'll just have to see how it goes. Wish us luck....

Do Weighted Blankets Calm Kids (And Grown Ups) Down?

I have long had a feeling that putting mild pressure on a kid with some sensory stuff going on calms them down but it wasn't until recently that I realized that there is some scientific evidence to back this feeling up.

My examples are purely anecdotal. My super sweet niece and nephew both had a really tough time calming down as babies and my sister would intuitively bounce or swing them (which is a therapy for sensory processing disorder. She just didn't know that) to get them to calm down. One time when I was in the car with them my niece literally would not stop crying for over an hour, no matter what we tried. I finally as a last resort, decided to go into the back seat, put my hand on her chest, apply some mild pressure rubbing back and forth and within five seconds she was sound asleep. Yes, it was that quick. We were a bit shocked actually but very very relieved. As much as I love my niece wow all that crying was hard to handle.

When I took my now adopted son on his first airplane ride, during the ascent, when he felt the mild pressure on his chest due to gravity pushing him down, the same thing happened. He literally fell asleep in five seconds. At first I thought that he had gotten the wind knocked out of him because it happened so quickly. But a quick look at him showed he was just snoozing quite peacefully.

My nanny also commented that when the kiddo is strapped snugly into his car seat, he seems to be his calmest. He is relaxed, calm and often either falls asleep or at least seems really almost drugged, no matter what time of day it is.

Seriously, something about all this feeling of mild pressure or of being swaddled is so calming to kids with sensory processing stuff going on.

Unfortunately I can't afford to take a flight somewhere every night so that my kid gets a good night sleep. Nor can I drive around all night with him strapped snugly into his car seat. I need a better solution There is an answer though: Weighted blankets.

What is a Weighted Blanket?

A weighted blanket is simply a heavy blanket; filled with weights throughout, usually between 4 and 15 lbs. You can wear it on your lap, around your shoulders or to cover your whole body while you sleep. When a weighted blanket is applied, it provides relaxing, deep pressure touch stimulation. The pressure causes the wearer to release seratonin and melatonin, known relaxers naturally found in the body.

I found several blogs where the writers said that the weighted blanket really helped their child.

From adhdmomma.com:
[My son] won't sleep without his weighted blankets now -- they bring a level of comfort to him that would be hard to replicate in any other form.

And from Shadowdaughter:

It’s beautiful.  It’s wonderful.  It’s very calming and soothing.  It feels like a super-heavy beanie-baby.  Many companies use ball-bearings as weights in their blankets, but Salt of the Earth uses fine-grade river stones.  It feels like sand.  The cotton is also a great texture, nice and stiff like the cotton of a good top sheet. My husband (who has been diagnosed with ADHD) loves it as well. 

It sounds like these blankets are quite helpful but a search of online retailers show that they cost a good $100 bucks. Before I spend money like that, I want to make sure I know it works. Maybe I'll do a little more research and see....

Gluten-Free/Dye-Free Diet Update: So Far So Good

I've noticed a dramatic difference in Christopher's behaviors since he started his gluten-free, dye-free, low-sugar diet. This diet is hard to keep up--boy does my kid miss sugary, junky treats but it is so worth it.

I took Christopher to a play date at a local park on Saturday and my friend commented to me that this was the farthest away from him we've ever had the opportunity to sit. Usually I would have to hover right next to him, calling out, "don't hit. Don't push. Move back". Boy is that exhausting.

But on Saturday, Christopher made friends with another little boy and played very nicely with him. So my friend and I could talk to each other and catch up, which is rare. Well that is until some other kids came along and they wanted to play with Christopher's Disney Cars and so we had some sharing issues happening. But that's age-appropriate and Christopher's an only child so that's understandable. I can deal with that. Christopher really does need to learn to share. But I digress....

Anyway, I've done a little research and there are tons of stories that link ADHD to gluten sensitivity, artificial dyes and even casein (from dairy). The scary thing I'm reading is that some kids metabolize gluten like an opiate (i.e. morphine and heroin) and that's why you get the crazy, out of control behavior.

I also read an article on Forbes.com that said artificial dyes that have been proven to cause Cancer in the '70s have been banned. However yellow dye #5 which is still considered "safe" and found in all our foods has been linked to hyperactivity, anxiety, migraines and even Cancer. Yes, this is in the food you are eating!

How is it possible that we have kids acting like they're on heroin and there isn't more of an uproar? Why didn't Christopher's pediatrician suggest I remove gluten and dyes from his diet when I told him my kid was ADHD symptomatic? It's not like there's a huge gluten lobby, funneling money to Congress to ensure that gluten manufacturers continue to rake in the dough (pun intended). You'd think that the doc would suggest that right off the bat. But he didn't. As a matter of fact, when I said this is what we'd be doing he was very "meh" about it. He said it works for some kids and doesn't for others and not to expect too dramatic a turnaround in behaviors. Crazy that he doesn't know what I now know: diet can really affect a child's behaviors.

We live in the Boston area, which is known to be one of the most medically advanced cities in the country so you would think that we would be on the forefront of this type of research. However if that's the case, I'm not hearing of it. Why isn't' this happening? Everything I'm reading suggests that this is a huge problem that is only getting worse. Shouldn't we be addressing diet more aggressively?

By the way, Christopher is the only kid I know who doesn't like cheese so we don't have to worry about casein thankfully. Whew on that one.

If you're interested in seeing any research on the topic, feel free to click a few links I found in my search:
http://www.corepsych.com/2007/08/celiac-notes-opiate-withdrawal-from-gluten-and-casein/

http://celiacdisease.about.com/od/commoncomplicationsofcd/a/Gluten-And-Adhd.htm

http://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelhennessey/2012/08/27/living-in-color-the-potential-dangers-of-artificial-dyes/

A Good Education

Last night, the Malden public school system hosted a free reading event for incoming kindergarteners. I brought Christopher and was excited to see how he acted around so many other kids in a controlled, school environment. Now that I have him on the amended diet, I was hoping he'd make it through without any problems.

I'm happy to report that although after an hour of some really intensive sitting and learning, he was definitely fidgety and touchy and distracted and pretty bored...but not overly disruptive. It's a start.

The event hosted about 50 Malden Kindergarteners and their families. I'd say there are about 300 Kinderarteners going to Malden Public Schools next month so I don't know if that's a great turnout or what but I was impressed that the school system is so motivated to teach our kids.

Malden is a Title I school system, meaning they take Federal money because there is a high percentage of low-income children in our town. The money is supposed to go towards funding programs to assist kids with keeping up with the strict academic standards the state requires. There have been several events over the course of the summer but this is the first one I've brought Christopher to, mainly because he's usually so tired in the evening that I didn't think he'd be able to handle all the sitting. It was a bit bumpy at times but he did well last night though.

The event started off with the Literacy Coordinator from the Ferryway School reading a book to the kids. Then after it was over she asked them questions about the book to spur on their critical thinking. With the first book, she asked questions like, "what would you have done differently" And "how do you think he was feeling when that happened"?

After a second book, the coordinator used four index cards which showed different events that occurred in the book and the kids had to put into order each event on the cards. Kids had to raise their hands and wait their turn to speak, which they clearly weren't used to yet. There was a lot of re-directing but they were all total super cute champs and I was impressed with the program.

During the second half, I will say Christopher did start to act out a bit. This was a full hour into a lot of sitting and boring thinking stuff and he just wanted to know when we were going to get pizza. But as bored as he was, he still wasn't terribly disruptive, although I did have to tell him to be quiet a few times and threaten to take away the Kindle that evening.

When it was all over, the kids got to play on the playground and Christopher had a great time running around with two kids named Rihannon and TJ. I was thrilled because although I needed to watch him, I didn't need to keep on him like a hawk. He played so nicely with the other kids. There was no hitting or biting! He did push a little bit but with some redirection, he stopped. This was huge. After a long day (this was now 7:00 at night) he'd usually melt down and have lots of trouble controlling himself but he was overall pretty great.

Something Christopher has got going for him is that he's a really smart kid and a good education will serve him well. Christopher may have had a lot of early childhood horrible stuff to overcome but now that he's in a loving stable home with lots of firm guidance, he will (hopefully) thrive in school.

I always tell Christopher that he could be president of the United States someday if he wants to be because he's definitely smart enough. He of course tells me that he'd rather be a race car driver or an astronaut and hey, that's fine too. It's good to have options.

Full Moon Fever

My kid melted down today. According to the nanny he had a screaming, crying ft at the beach today. Nothing horrible but just a little out of the ordinary for him as he doesn't normally melt down out of the blue anymore. I was really wondering what was going on.

Then Christopher's beloved babysitter Sophia watched him while I went for a run tonight. Apparently he was out of control with her too. Hitting and running and very loud. What's up with that? He had been doing so well the last few weeks too.

Then as I was out on my jog, I looked up in the sky and said ahhhh. I know why Christopher is so out of sorts. It's a full moon. A blue moon at that.

I have no idea what it is about full moons that makes kids so crazy but I remember Christopher's pre-school teacher telling me once that they could always tell when it was a full moon because the whole classroom acted out. God help those teachers. That's all I can say.

I'm just glad the full moon only comes once a month. I have grown accustomed to a calm kiddo and I have zero interest in all that hyperactivity. No thank you!

Does anyone else have any stories to share about their kids (or themselves for that matter) during a full moon phase?