Summertime Ups and Downs

Here we are at the beginning of August already. How is it that summertime flies by so quickly and the winter just churns on and on and on and on and ....

Anyway, we've had a lot of fun this summer and as many great times as we have had, Christopher's been way off his routine more than I had wished. This does create some issues for him too.

For example, when Christopher gets really over-stimulated with lots of activity and other kiddos around, his medication simply stops working. So a few weekends ago when we were up in Maine, you would not even know he was taking meds. He was hitting, kicking and fighting with his cousin which really made me lose my cool a few times.

Also, even though his medication is a 12-hour lasting dose, it does wear off at some point. So here we are at dinner in a lovely restaurant with extended family and Christopher starts to melt down. Loudly. I even had to put my hand over his mouth at one point to keep him from scaring the other patrons because he was that loud. Luckily my family helped out and were able to calm him down because this frazzled mom was staring to feel overwhelmed.

One day this past week Christopher went to bed way too late and woke up way too early so he didn't have enough sleep. That day he was like a walking zombie all day and I felt bad for him. I tried to get him to take a nap but he wouldn't do it, instead just choosing to stare at his toys for a while. This was way out of character for him and I made sure that the following evening he got to bed earlier. His medication really does require that he get enough sleep and this is clearly what happens when he doesn't get it. Poor kiddo.

Last but not least, being off of his normal strict routine seems to exacerbate his PTSD and all of the sudden, once summer started, Christopher became deathly afraid of all bugs; spiders and black flies especially. He shrieks loudly, darts his eyes back and forth and runs to me, needing to be held. Let me tell you, in New England in the summertime, there are a lot of bugs so this has been an issue for him. I keep trying to remind him that he's safe but he's struggling with this the most. I will say that this past week on Cape Cod, he was not the only child afraid of the bugs because one of my sister's friend's daughters was also afraid. Plus my niece became scared yesterday as well. So I don't think that this fear is entirely uncharacteristic of children. However when you have a child who has experienced trauma, I guess the reactions are all just a whole lot stronger.

Now onto the good stuff. We had so much fun in our travels this summer. Best of all, my sister and her kids, who live in Colorado, were visiting this summer so we got to spend TONS of time with them. We just love them so much!

One weekend, we went to the new Legoland Discovery Center here in Boston. The kids had a blast but man, it was loud and exhausting. I was glad to come home after that experience.

On the following weekend, we went to Maine to see some extended family. For my brother's birthday, we all went to the local bait/tackle/gun shop to enjoy a fresh lobster and clambake. It was a unique setting...but very tasty.

We just got back from a week on Cape Cod where we got to stay at our family's lighthouse. Yep....my grandmother bought a real lighthouse in 1936 and it's been in the family ever since. We were truly blessed with amazing weather too so no complaints there.

It was fun because we got to host a lot of friends and family and enjoy a beach with hardly any people on it. How often does that happen in the summertime?

We all get clamming licenses so that we can go clamming and enjoy really really fresh clams that evening. I have to say, those are the most amazing, tasty treats. Nothing beats a fresh, grilled clam!

Even my dog loved the vacation. Nothing like getting wet and dirty in the sand with your family!

When we weren't traveling hours away, we managed to enjoy some closer to home activities this summer as well. For example, here's a photo I took in Gloucester last weekend, where we went for a day trip with a good friend of mine.

And even closer to home, I had a few barbecues this summer right on my front porch. The weather didn't always cooperate--for example it poured down rain on the 4th of July--but that did not deter me. I'm not going to melt. I just braved the elements for a while and next thing you know, I had some yummy grilled salmon and corn on the cob.

So yes we've had to take the good with the bad this summer but still things are better this year than they were last summer when Christopher was just so out of control. A year ago I didn't know what to do about Christopher's behaviors. He was just stuck in overdrive, couldn't slow down and would just get violent with other little kids. I also didn't know about the need for routines and a clean diet and we were still on the wait list for our intro appointment at the Behavioral Medicine Clinic at Children's Hospital. Since Christopher started getting treatment there, life became so much easier. Routines plus clean diet and medication have made a huge difference, along with Christopher just maturing and also believing more that this is his forever home. Each year it does definitely get easier. So that's great. The tough thing though is that as much as I'd love to be able to help other kids get out of the foster care system, Christopher is still such a handful that I just don't think I could handle another child with any sort of special needs. And let's face it, all kids from foster care will have some sort of special needs, right? The trauma alone will mess with a kid's head and they will need help. I just don't have it in me to do more though. My hands are full!

Today is Friday August 1st and I'm still on vacation till Monday. Plus it's an absolutely beautiful day so I've decided to keep the vacation fun going. I've got a few errands to run and a ton of laundry to do but that can all wait till tomorrow when it's supposed rain all day. I think I'll take the kiddo to the beach today. More memories to come!

Memorial Day is for Freedom...and Family

Happy Memorial Day everyone! We are just back from a weekend visiting family that lives just a few hours away in the next state over. I brought the kiddo and the dog and made an adventure out of it as always. Lots of barking, yelling, running, jumping and the occasional sounds of fighting, crying and ultimately making up. Just another day in the life.

One of my nieces is getting married in a few months and so her engagement dinner was the motivation for our trip away. I'm glad that we had a reason to make the trip because I probably wouldn't have gone away otherwise and it was nice to see everyone.

It certainly didn't hurt that the weather was better than originally forecasted because we were able to spend both days on the beach. My kiddo played with my god-daughter and collected crabs and other critters in the water the entire time while her mom (one of my best friends from high school) and I relaxed on the warm sand. Occasionally my neurotic dog barked at passing seagulls but aside from that, the beach was pretty peaceful.

It got a lot crazier once we left the beach because the kids were over-tired, hungry and way over-stimulated. So that's when the yelling, fighting and crying started to kick in. I will say I went back to my brother's house each evening, happy for my bed, for these were some long, loud days. It was great to be at my brother's because he always had a glass of wine waiting for me too. Gotta love that.

I was nervous about how my kiddo would do at the engagement dinner last night because yesterday was such a long, busy day. I was afraid he'd get there and just melt down. Smart mama that I am though, I took him back to the house after the beach, got him showered and dressed and laid him down on the sofa for an hour-long nap. We were late for the dinner but I don't care because the kiddo was in good spirits and held it together for the entire evening. Not one complaint and yes that's rare. Especially after the day we had had so I definitely recommend sleep. Sleep is good.

Christopher always brings his Angry Bird toys with him wherever he goes and last night that worked out well because it was quite the ice breaker. All the cool kids wanted to be with Christopher and his Angry Birds.

I will say, I was beyond exhausted today and the 2-1/2 hour drive back home was a bit rough. We got back home mid-afternoon and I immediately climbed in bed for a nap while my little guy happily reunited with all his Angry Bird toys.

Now it's time for dinner and I could really use a trip to the grocery store but I really don't feel like I have it in me to pack up the kid (whining and crying because he hates shopping) and go out again. So maybe I'll just hold off till tomorrow...you know after a long day of work when we'll both be tired again. Ugh.

Happy Memorial Day all.

Springtime Means SO Much Going On

The long winter of my discontent has finally ended and the beautiful springtime weather is finally upon us. In New England, that type of weather lasts for 10 minutes (practically) so we locals always try to take as much advantage of nice weather as we can. This is especially after this past winter, which was colder and longer than any I remember in recent history. Thank you El Nino.

Anyway, with a goal to accomplish as much as I can before the weather turns cold again, I've got a To Do list that's as ambitious as as that of two people. No one can say I am not goal oriented.

Yesterday for example, we took a day trip down to Cape Cod for our family's annual work weekend at the Stage Harbor Lighthouse. It started off as a rainy day so soccer was cancelled but it was forecasted to stop raining by 10am, which it did. So we made the last minute decision to trek down to the Cape, which I'm glad we did. It turned into a gorgeous day.

Christopher had a great time learning how to hang shingles from his uncle

And then also spent quality time searching for crabs and clam shells with his cousin

I did a little cleaning but mostly spent the time outside on the beach with the kids and my dog.

It was a beautiful day but after driving down there for two hours then spending all day there in the sun and driving home two hours, I'm worn out today! But there is no time to be tired. Why? Because my latest goal is to sell my condo and buy a single family home. I need more space!

My condo's open house is at 1pm today and I've got a few things to do before the realtor shows up. I've got to vacuum, put laundry away, sweep, declutter, etc. etc. Then I need a trip to Home Depot to get a new welcome mat for the front porch and get a duplicate key made. No day of rest for me today.

I wish I could be my kid and dog who are lazily relaxing on the sofa right now. Not me though...I've got a long list of things to do. And no partner to share them with so I'd better hop to it. This is where it's hard to be a single parent because I'm already exhausted. I am happy that my son is so content but man, it's tough.

But the good news is, uploading photos and blogging were two items on my To Do list that I can now cross off for today. Yay! Now onto the rest of it.

A Very Good Day

Yesterday was a beautiful Saturday and I planned a busy, busy day for us. Christopher was excited and so was I because I love our little "adventures".

First up was swim class at the YMCA. Christopher came out of that in great spirits because he had done well. This $50 class is wonderful because it gives my little guy not only the skills he needs to swim safely but also boosts his self-esteem and helps get some of that little boy energy out. I highly recommend this for any kid battling ADHD.

After swimming, we took the train into town (Christopher loves the train!) and met up with my friend Sue. Then we took the ferry out to Georges Island for a day of wandering around out there.

Christopher had never been on a ferry before and he loved it. He also really enjoyed exploring the old fort and then searching for crabs on the beach. At the end of the day, it was hard to say good bye to our new crabby friends but I explained that we could come back and visit them again.

What I loved about the day was that Christopher had fun, it was sunny and warm, I was with a good friend and best of all, Christopher was behaving well so the outing was easy to manage. It's amazing how much a day could be made or broken by the behaviors Christopher exhibits that day.

We didn't get home until 7pm last night and after leaving the house at 9am, I'm realizing that might have been a bit of a long day for the kiddo. Today we were supposed to go kayaking with some friends on Spot Pond but Christopher was awake at 3am today not feeling well and since then has barely gotten off the sofa. So today is a quiet day for us. I'm a bit bummed because beautiful, sunny days in New England don't happen often and I like to enjoy them when we have them. And that would definitely be today. But if your kid's sick, what can you do? So a day of relaxation it is. There are definitely worse ways to spend a Sunday.

To learn more about Georges Island excursions, click here: