Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Good Luck Baby Veronica

Today the Oklahoma Supreme Court gave custody of 4-year-old “Baby Veronica” back to the Capobianco family. She had been living with them for two years while the birth father Dusten Brown fought to regain the parental rights he apparently accidentally signed away prior to deploying to active duty. Two years ago state courts gave him custody and Veronica has been living with him while the Capobiancos continued to fight. Today they finally won.

This poor little girl has now been ripped away from her bonded family twice in just four years. Hopefully she doesn’t end up suffering from PTSD and RAD like other kids shuffled around from home to home often do. My own adopted son has lived with me for two years and he still can’t sleep in his own bed and sometimes fears that I’m going to give him away. Our adoption has been finalized for a year but with PTSD he will sometimes get triggered right back to that scary place. Hopefully Veronica doesn’t suffer the same fate.

I gotta say, even though I’m an adoptive mama, I kind of have to say I side with Dusten Brown on this one. I know that paperwork was signed giving up his parental rights but he claims that he didn’t know what he was signing and that has got to stand for something. Okay, okay I know that sounds kind of suspect. But the guy was in the process of deploying to Iraq, his girlfriend was pregnant and yeah, the guy had a lot going on. 
Dusten Brown was serving our country in the most honorable way possible. Doesn’t he get a break?

I do wonder how Veronica is going to feel when she grows up and learns how the Capobiancos ripped her away from a family who loved her dearly. I don’t know how they’re going to explain that.

Meanwhile she has a daddy who fought for her and never gave up. That’s probably going to resonate with her. Especially if the Capobiancos keep the bio dad away from her, which I’m assuming they will just to create some family unity.

I also wonder why the Capobiancos wouldn't allow for an open adoption. That's very common in the foster adoption world and this little girl is clearly bonded with her bio family. It seems rather cold to shut them entirely out of her life. I hope that the Capobiancos let the family she has grown to love be a part of her life going forward. It would really be in her best interest.

The big take-away here is that our adoption laws clearly need some work. If two parties can fight for nearly four years to win parental rights for one little girl, then something needs fixing. There really should be some sort of a cap on this sort of thing so you don't keep disrupting this little girl's life.

Not to mention, the Capobiancos were fighting based on their lawyer's contention that Federal law does not recognize an unwed father as a biological parent. How is that possible. The guy needed to marry the mother before he could be deemed Veronica's father? That's nuts!

Anyway, good luck little Veronica. I hope you have a happy, healthy future ahead of you. 

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