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| Christopher asleep under his Thomas the Tank Engine blanket |
This is the second time this week that he's fallen asleep super early. On Friday he fell asleep on the car ride home from the after-school program. That night he slept all the way until 5:30 the next morning. Nearly 12 straight hours. And here he is sleeping again.
We do have such a long day and I know it's a lot for a little kid. I have him in both the before-school program and the after school program, meaning I drop him off at school by 7:10am and pick him up at 5:30.
I have considered hiring a nanny for the afternoons but the summer nanny took 2/3 of my paycheck and I am just starting to get my savings back on track again. Plus, she had a few issues (such as almost quitting on her second day) which wasn't her fault; she just hadn't been around kids like Christopher before. But the school has and they understand him and I trust that they are taking good care of him and that they can handle him. Lastly, if Christopher's nanny gets sick, I have to scramble at the last minute for back up childcare. I'm already having to take days off for school vacations and professional development days. I can't afford to take sick nanny days too. That's too much.
I experience mommy guilt every day I drop my little man off and he cries out to me as I leave. I feel guilt every day he tells me that it's too long a day and that he wants to come home. I wish I could stay home with him. I wish I had more family around to help out. I wish I could win the Powerball jackpot and not have to worry about money anymore. I wish, I wish, I wish.
But the reality is, I need to pay bills, feed the family and keep a roof over our heads. So I work full time. It is what it is. People tell me that I shouldn't feel bad because he will adjust (and I will too!) and I know that it's still better than foster care so that comforts me actually.
So when is the next Powerball drawing? Anybody got some inside scoop on winning numbers???
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